Communication Myth 3: To Lead Well, I must amplify my voice

Leadership in 180 Seconds: The 10 Greatest Communication Myths in the Workplace

As leaders, we often think our role is to speak, direct, and decide—but what if our greatest influence starts with listening? In this episode, we explore why the higher you rise, the more you need to close the power gap. Because when leaders stop listening, teams stop speaking.

• Transcript

  When we step into leadership we believe it is about giving directions, make decisions, and driving the conversation. To an extent, that’s correct. Leaders are supposed to guide, inspire, and set the vision.

  But here’s the truth: The higher we rise in leadership, the more we must learn to listen.

  The more authority you have, the greater the gap between you and your people. And if you don’t intentionally close that gap, you risk making decisions in isolation—without truly understanding the reality on the ground.

  Psychologists refer to this as Power Distance—the natural gap that forms between leaders and their teams. The more authority you hold, the more hesitant people become to speak openly with you.

  As a leader, we might believe that our teams will naturally tell us what’s on their minds. But let me challenge that assumption. Think back to when you were starting out in your career. If you had a bad boss, you thought very carefully about every word you spoke, right? Even if you had a good boss, there was still some level of thought as to what should and shouldn’t be shared.

  When we as leaders recognise this, we take a very active step towards one of the greatest leadership practices available to us. We are creating psychological safety—a space where people feel comfortable speaking openly, without fear of judgment or retaliation.

  So how do you close the power gap and become a leader people trust enough to be honest with?

  Here are four practical shifts:

  1. Ask intentional questions. Instead of just saying, “Any questions?” try: “What’s one thing we could improve?” or “What’s something I might not be seeing?”

  2. Pause before responding. When someone gives feedback, resist the urge to defend your position. Instead, say: “Tell me more about that.”

  3. Model vulnerability. If you want your team to open up, show them it’s safe. Admit when you don’t have all the answers. Share what you’re working on improving.

  4. When your team member calls out something, understand the courage it takes for them. They are sitting on the low side of the power scale and yet are willing to share truth. That takes a lot of guts. If we immediately shut it down, or get defensive, they are not likely to try again.

  Let me finish with a story. I was brought into the leadership of one of the largest churches in Perth. We had 110 staff. I was the 2ic and a number of our teams both paid and volunteers were disorganised and half of them wanted to quit. The team was severely underperforming. When I started, everyone asked me, how could you possibly turn this team around? And most were confused by my answer. I told them that for the first 2 months I was going to do nothing but listen.

  For the next two months I called every person and organised coffees, sometimes 5 in a day. I was drinking a lot of coffee! And I’m sure I racked up a larger coffee bill I listened, I asked questions and I listened again. When people asked me how I was going to change things, I would rarely tell them my long term strategy. I just listened.

  The reality is that my listening built trust, the listening and finding out the pressure points, ensured my strategy was meaningful and would be effectual. Most importantly, because I so actively listened to my people, when it is time for me to talk, they were all ears and ready to go.

  So here’s my challenge to you:

  Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about creating the conditions where the best answers can emerge.

  How often are you truly listening to your team? And what might you be missing because you’re not?