The Secret of Leading by Listening

Leadership in 180 Seconds: 14 Secrets of Influential Leaders

We spend nearly half our time listening—yet most of us aren’t very good at it. In this episode, we explore how active listening can unlock influence, build trust, and deepen connection. Most leaders think they’re good listeners. Most are wrong. But the good news? Listening is a skill you can build.

• Transcript

  According to Psychology Today, we spend around 45% of our communication time listening. But here’s the kicker—most of us think we’re better listeners than we actually are.

   In fact, in this same article many of us only really listen to 25% of what is said! If we want to lead well—we have to listen better.

   Now, when I say listen, I don’t mean nodding while your mind is thinking about your next meeting. I’m talking about active listening—fully present, undistracted, and genuinely engaged.

   Before you switch off because you believe you are a good listener, my experience tells me that even the most well-meaning leaders who completely agree that listening is important, will then turn around and talk...

  and talk.

   The most influential leaders I know listen well. They create space for others to speak and be heard. And that builds trust—the currency of leadership.

   Here’s what active listening does:

  • It shows respect.

  • It builds clarity.

  • It uncovers ideas and issues before they become problems.

   The truth is, people often tell us what they really think—if we’re willing to stop talking long enough to hear it.

   And yes, learning to really listen, takes discipline. Few leaders within my life or likely your life modelled good listening. Thus, we have learnt that leaders need to be wired to jump in, to advise, to interrupt. But active listening is a skill that can be learned. Practised. Strengthened.

   So here’s your leadership challenge: This week, in every 1-on-1 or key conversation—listen with your full attention. Put your phone away. Make eye contact. When someone finishes a sentence wait 2 seconds before responding to ensure they really have finished. And resist the urge to immediately solve or fix, ask another question, seek some more clarity, given the person opportunity to communicate everything they want to.

   Great leaders aren’t just great communicators—they’re great listeners. And when people feel heard, they’re far more likely to follow.

   Listen well.

  Lead better.